The Look of a Servant

“When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears.  The she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.”  Luke 7:37-38

I love this passage.  In my mind it is easy to imagine this scene: the “sinful” woman knelt down behind Jesus as he reclined at the table full of men, sobbing tears dropping from her chin onto His feet, her efforts to wipe them clean with her hair hanging down around her face as she knelt.  The scriptures don’t say, but I wonder if she’d originally brought the perfume with the intention of anointing Jesus’ head.  I wonder if she surprised herself with the emotional outburst that came when she entered into Jesus’ presence that evening.  I wonder if she ever struggled to not feel embarrassed once the evening was over and she thought back to how she’d behaved.

In all of my times envisioning this scene, I have maintained a certain picture of this woman.  In my mind, I have generally imagined her to be dressed in older clothes, with dirty, unkempt hair, her face and hands smudged with old dirt.  I have always assumed her to be obviously poor, perhaps considered “un-touchable” by the other men in the room that night.  I mean, after all, she was a “sinner”.

But as I was reading this passage recently, a few new questions came into my mind that have me reconsidering my original assumption about who this woman was.

The first, and most obvious inconsistency in my mind’s picture of this scene:  If this woman was so poor, and dirty – if she was such an outcast from society – what was she doing at the Pharisee’s home?

What kind of person – a woman no less – would be allowed to just come into a Pharisee’s home during a dinner party and not immediately be told to leave?  The Pharisees were very careful about the type of people with whom they spent their time – especially when others were watching.  Any person who had such freedom to come into this party and to behave in such a way without a word of rebuke from anyone would have to have been an important person, likely from an important family, and likely with a lot of money.

Though, even if all of these things had been true of the woman, I still have to ask myself:  Why did the Pharisee allow a known “sinner” to attend a dinner party at his home?  Of course, we have no room to speculate on this question too far, but I can’t help but to wonder what were the reasons that the Pharisee’s were so willing to look the other way regarding the sins of this woman and to allow her such freedom in their community.  Was it her heritage?  Her money?  Her physical beauty?

Further, and much more difficult and convicting for me to wonder, however, is how this woman could have had such a presence among this society of church leaders – those who had publicly committed their lives to serving the Lord – and have never received freedom from the sin in her life?

It doesn’t take much of a stretch to pose these same questions to the church today – to my own self and the work to which I am called, in fact.  Have we as church members/leaders today become so dependent on the provision of man that we, too, pick and choose the types of sin – the types of “sinners” – we “excuse” in our church so as to better meet our own needs?  Have we become so entrapped by these earthly provisions that we’ve become willing to look the other way in the face of the oppression and enslavement that so obviously controls those in our company?  Do we allow individuals to suffer in the darkness of their sin, separated from their God, due to our fear of losing the earthly, material things they provide for us?

In my time in Kaliningrad in prayer ministry – and throughout the past year as I’ve seen God open more and more doors in that area of my work here – it has not escaped my notice that the great majority of the men and women with whom I am working do not fill the profile that I would typically assume for a “sinner”.  In fact, every person on whom I have laid my hands and for whom I have prayed for healing this year has been what we often refer to as an “active” member of a church, either in St. Petersburg, Kaliningrad, or Tallinn.  Many of these people have been long-time leaders in their congregations, including pastors and their wives.  Most of them have made great sacrifice to follow the call of God in their lives, especially through the western, non-Orthodox church.  Their church is their family – the most important people in their lives are those to whom they minister.

In Luke 8: 1-3, immediately after this story of the sinful woman who anointed Jesus, we get to learn a little about some of the people who were traveling with Jesus in His ministry in these days.  Luke tells us that the disciples were with Him, and verse 2 says that there were also some women traveling with Him “who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases.”  Included in Luke’s short list in vs. 2-3 are Mary Magdalene – who had been delivered of 7 demons – and a lady by the name of Joanna, who Luke indicates was “the wife of Cuza, the manager of Herod’s household.”

The manager of Herod’s household?  Herod Antipas?  The same tetrarch of Galilee who’d had John the Baptist beheaded and who Luke says in 9:7-9 later feared Jesus to actually be John himself raised from the dead?  The wife of the “manager of Herod’s household” was traveling with Jesus’s crew to other villages, and – per Luke’s account in 8:3 – even supporting Him financially?  Wow.  I don’t know why, but the image of this very wealthy and influential woman going to Jesus for healing and then sacrificing so much in order to follow Him and serve Him through her wealth and affluence came as a surprise to me.  And also with it came the confirmed conviction about the definitions I have set up regarding the types of people I should be serving – the face of those who are the broken and mighty in the Kingdom of God.

Let us be careful to care for orphans and widows in their distress.  Let us always reach out to help the materially poor and destitute as God leads.  About these things the scriptures are clear.  But neither let us neglect those who are the leaders and pastors in our churches, or are the powerful, influential members of our communities, or are the closest members of our very own personal circles.  We must give these people room to be broken sinners with the rest of us.  We must allow them to receive the grace of Jesus Christ in their lives.  We must allow them to come forward and to weep furiously and wonderfully at the feet of Jesus – in front of all of us, without condemnation, judgment, or question from any of us who’ve come to put them on such a high, untouchable platform.

I am so grateful for the love I feel for and from you.  Many blessings in Christ – Miki

Forgiven Much

“But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” Luke 7:47

Earlier this month I took a few days away and went off to the Russian region of Kaliningrad to spend time in prayer ministry with a couple of churches there.  Kaliningrad is a Russian port that is actually located in Europe, on the Baltic Sea between Poland and Lithuania.  I know of only a few people who’ve ever visited there, and I really didn’t have much of an idea on what to expect.

So you can imagine how surprised I’ve been in the weeks since returning home at all of the emotion and grief and spiritual struggle I’ve encountered as I’ve attempted to process my experience there.

This is no place to share specific stories of those with whom I’ve prayed.  I don’t feel it would be of much more than entertainment value anyway – something that would evoke a strong emotional response perhaps, but really have very little significant, long-term impact in each of our walks with God.

What I feel is important for me to share, however, is a little of my own struggle and experience of God through this time in Kaliningrad.  I intend to do that over the course of a few entries in the next few weeks.  I wanted start today with something I’ve touched on before – the incredible, absolute necessity of repentance in ministry.

A few things happened while working in Kaliningrad that I’ve come in these weeks since to regret.  One example is the time during one of the prayer sessions that I got caught up trying to answer questions and explain and describe things of God in my own terms.

There were a few individuals in this session – long-time believers, very active in the church – who really hesitated at the idea of sitting in the presence of God and learning to listen to His voice.  They showed a strong desire to put God and His ways into terms they could understand.  Time and time again I would suggest we go to God in prayer, and they would stop me with another question about how healing works, or how we truly forgive others, or some other work of God that can not be fully fathomed by the human mind or described in human terms.

Scripture makes it clear that God desires to reveal Himself to us.  He wants us to know Him and to understand Him and His ways.  However, it is also clear that any understanding of God can only come to us from God Himself.  Our words can not describe Him, our thoughts can not comprehend Him  Any time that I spend trying to defend my point of view about God to those who are searching for Him is, at best, a waste of everyone’s time, and at worst, a terrible sin of arrogance and deception on my part toward my brothers and sisters.

Unfortunately, however, I got caught up a couple of times during this particular session answering questions that I really was not able to answer about God.  In the last minutes I became frustrated.  I kept saying that they were not ever going to fully be able to understand or describe God.  That He can only be known by experiencing Him.  One of them said, “I just don’t understand that. I think that I do experience Him, but I am still not free.”  I answered, “Until we fully submit to God everything in our lives, we will not be free.”  The individual just shook her head and ended the conversation with, “I think I have submitted everything to Him.”  And that was it.  I closed with a prayer of protection and then went into the bedroom for a break and just cried.

But even with those difficulties, in that session – and in the other sessions I led there – the presence of God was very clear.  Several individuals gave testimony of receiving visions and healing from God in those hours.  A couple of people said that they felt they’d truly been able to finally forgive others who’d harmed them or their families years ago.  Many came to me after the session and said they thanked God for my coming and asked me when I would come again.

Conversely, there were others who insisted they’d felt absolutely nothing.  They came to me after the sessions and expressed almost frustration with me that nothing had happened.

As a result of these reactions from various people, I didn’t realize at the time that my own ego – my own sense of value – was being influenced.  I began struggling with bouts of both pride and self-deprecation, both things which I know to be sin.

Finally, some of the stories I heard from people who were seeking healing in their lives were very dark and painful stories.  Many of the individuals I met had been struggling for years and years with their pain, and I felt strongly that a real sense of hopelessness and abandonment had settled on them.  They simply did not believe that God would ever heal them.

When I returned home, I came to realize that some of that same hopelessness and abandonment had settled on me as well, which led to frustration and disappointment in myself.  And then finally I began to feel frustration with God, which led to my not wanting to even spend time with Him in the days after I returned from Kaliningrad.  For almost 2 weeks after returning home, I kept spiraling down emotionally and spiritually, struggling with self-judgment and pity, feelings of isolation and hopelessness.  I had been careful to pray consistently while in Kaliningrad for God’s protection from the oppression I was encountering there, and to lay down the burdens of those for whom I was praying at the feet of Jesus.  I thought I’d done all that I was supposed to do and couldn’t understand why I was struggling so much in the days after I returned home.

But even in my efforts to shut God out, He remained faithful not to abandon me.  In that time, He brought individuals to me who He knew I would talk to, even if I wouldn’t talk to Him.  I began to see that, while I’d been so careful to pray for protection from the enemy’s hand in the lives of others, I had failed to ask the Lord to show me my own sin in those days in Kaliningrad.  I’d become too busy focusing on the ministry, and had not taken care of myself.  I had un-confessed sin in my life, and it had, first, created a separation between myself and my God, and second, had given the enemy an entrance into which he could feed me lies and darkness about myself that I was unable to battle on my own.

As I’ve begun to recognize these sins and to repent of them, I’ve been feeling reconciliation in my relationship with God as the Holy Spirit has washed over me.  I’ve been able to rest again in the presence of God, and to talk with Him about the struggles I encountered in Kaliningrad.  And I’ve seen personally, once again, the incredible danger of carrying un-confessed sin in my life – particularly as I seek to follow the Lord into ministry.

Our God is not a condemning God.  He did not send His Son so that we might suffer shame and oppression from the sin in our lives.  He does not call us to repentance every day in order to simply lord His authority over us.

He is a good, just God who loves each of us dearly.  He wants us near to Him because He knows that the safest place for us is where He is.  He sent His Son so that we might know Him.  He calls us to repentance so that we can be truly free.

Let us not be afraid to ask our Father to show us the sin we are carrying, which is keeping us imprisoned.  Let us be willing to go to Him with our sin, and to confess it to Him daily.  Let us ask Him to wash us with His Holy Spirit again and again, knowing that in His time we will become the men and women He desires, and will walk fully in the freedom for which He died.

Love and blessings to you this New Year in Christ Jesus.

Miki

Christmas Greetings from the Chastains

Many blessings to you this Christmas season!  

I’ve been spending some time these past weeks in Luke, and wanted to share a few verses and thoughts that have stuck out to me:

Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel,…He has raised up a horn of salvation for us…to enable us to serve him without fear in holiness and righteousness before him all our days. Luke 1:68-75

One of the results of our receiving salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ is that it makes us able to serve Him without fear.  It’s part of the reason Jesus came to die for us. 

She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. Luke 2:7

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. Luke 2:8

The great works of the Lord are very often done in dirty places through rejected, unknown and unpopular individuals.

Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon,…and the Holy Spirit was upon him.  It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Christ… Simeon took him (Jesus) in his arms and praised God, saying, ‘Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace.’  Luke 2:25-29

There was also a prophetess, Anna…she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four.  She never left the temple but worshiped night an day, fasting and praying.  Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.  Luke 2:36-38

Individuals truly seeking to follow and serve the Lord do not do so for personal gain, be it financial, social, or political.  These individuals very often continue to do what they do in the name of Jesus simply because it is what they believe God wants them to do.  They realize that, even on days when they want to quit, the option of leaving the ministry is not an option until God releases them from His calling on their life.  It is no more a choice to these individuals than is breathing or eating.

In this spirit, this month Charlie and I would like to share a bit about some of the individuals who have given everything to following the call of God in their lives, and to serve those to whom He has called them.  The work they do is most often unromantic, sacrificial, draining, and even heart-breaking.  But they continue day after day because, like the people who were called to usher our Lord into this world, they see no other option to life but to follow the call of their God.  

Hope and Jeff Holeman – House of Hope – Ralph, AL- It is the purpose of the House of Hope to serve the Lord Jesus Christ by being a House of Hope for individuals in transition from incarceration to productive members of society. They are a residential aftercare ministry focusing on the crucial four to twelve months immediately following release from prison or jail.

Established in August of 2000, House of Hope is an interdenominational, non-profit organization which provides food, shelter, clothing, guidance and love. They are a bridge for ex-offenders re-entering the “free world.” They believe that a Christian home environment helps the ex-offender adjust to life on the outside. They also believe it helps him alter his behavior and increases his potential in order to become a productive, law-abiding citizen.  By providing a disciplined home environment, guidance, counseling, and Bible study, House of Hope works to change previous behaviors of ex-offenders.

After serving 12 years in prison, Jeff Holeman has made a successful transition from prison to the “free world.” He now knows his life direction is to serve the Lord Jesus Christ in helping other men make this transition. His wife, Hope, also knew the Lord had a great plan for their life as a family to serve the outcasts of society.

To learn more and to become a supporter of House of Hope, please go the following website.

http://www.feltd.com/houseofhope3.html

Ksusha and Alexander Nikiforov – Orphanage Ministry – Kaliningrad, Russia – Miki had the wonderful opportunity to meet and work with Ksusha in prayer ministry in Kaliningrad early this month.  In their time together, Ksusha shared with Miki a little about the work she and her husband, Alexander, do with orphans in Kaliningrad, including orphan grad support and an annual summer camp for a local orphanage.  

Because Kaliningrad – Russia’s only warm-water seaport – is physically separated from the rest of Russia, Ksusha and Alexander are the only people in that city who are working to support orphans at all, and they struggle to find support locally or otherwise.  Many teams are willing to travel to the larger cities in mainland Russia, but fewer consider going to the smaller city of Kaliningrad, located on the Baltic Sea between Poland and Lithuania.  

If you would like to learn more about Ksusha and Alexander’s work, and to consider supporting them or visiting them in Kaliningrad, please let us know and we will be happy to connect you to them directly.  

Michael and Lolla Agwanda – Life for Children Ministry – Kisumu, Kenya - The HIV/AIDS epidemic is spreading rapidly, spiraling out of control to infect 1 out of 10 Kenyans. This statistic leaves over 5,000 children as head of household with over 2.5 million parentless, and in most cases supporting their siblings and/or sickened relatives at a very young age. 1.8 million children are fending for themselves on the street. Extreme poverty conditions are especially evident here and the traditional family support system is overburdened.   

Life for Children Ministry works to locate extended family members or approved guardians under whose care the orphans will live, and to provide:

food, clothing, healthcare and education

Christian teaching and counseling

Social Workers for case administration

training for life skills including HIV/AIDS awareness, personal hygiene, and self-perception

training for economic self-sufficiency, i.e. Micro Enterprise Lending

training for best agricultural practices to enhance food security 

To learn more or to support Michael and Life for Children Ministry, please go to:

http://lifeforchildrenministry.org

 

Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.

Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied.

Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.

Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil because of the Son of Man.  Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven.  For that is how their fathers treated the prophets.

 But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort.

Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry.

Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep.  

Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets. 

Luke 6:20-26

Thank you all so much for your continued love and support to our family.  In these days let us welcome, again, the Lord Jesus into our families and homes and lives!  Praise and thanksgiving be full in our hearts for our God this Christmas, in Jesus’ name!  Amen.

 Miki, Charlie, Isabel and Jasper Chastain

No Big Thing

Here’s another vintage post from Michael Spencer in 2007.  As we all begin this week anticipating the coming of Jesus – taking stock of our lives and the lives of others around us – Michael gives us another perspective to take to heart.  As you make your final charitable donations this year, consider these words.  Blessings!  Charlie

 

 

I want to start this post with a quote from a typical ambitious evangelical church that wants to grow. Get big. Add lots of people. Become “mega.” Get the crowds and their kids in the doors.

But I’ve decided not to insult you. If you don’t know the vast majority of American Christianity is about churches getting bigger, and bigger…and bigger if possible, then where are you? Iceland? Mars?

Then I want to tell you what a friend is doing this week. He’s in Hurricane Katrina country, building houses. He’s with a group of Christians that moved down there after the hurricane and planted a church. The thing is, this church doesn’t have a building and all the usual church programs. They don’t have that single-minded church growth ambition focus. They are different. These Christians are basically building houses, cleaning up, rebuilding. They are a servant church. “Missional” for those of you who can say that and think good thoughts.

They’ve come into the ruins and incarnated Jesus, the carpenter, by serving and loving the homeless. They build and repair houses. The reputation of Jesus in that community is not displayed on a neon sign, but in the finished houses and tears of those who will live in them.

Those Christians are a different kind of church. A footwashing, gospel-living, Kingdom-embodying, incarnational movement of Jesus followers.

I’ve got a prediction: They never will be big.

Not with goals, attitude and actions like that. They won’t ever have to worry about where to put the crowds or how to finance a worship center to seat the thousands and thousands who want to worship with them.

There are a lot of churches and ministries that won’t ever get very big. Here in the mountains we have what we used to call “Baptist Centers.” Little “social ministry” operations, aimed at mercy ministry for the poor. Ours around here is called the “Friendship House.” We give away clothes to poor people in the community. Sometimes we give away food. We don’t ask any questions. That ministry won’t ever need to worry about stadium seating. Or replacing the audio-visual gear before next year’s Christmas pageant.

In a large city in our state, there’s a mission downtown that’s ministered to the homeless, the addicted and the mentally ill for many years. They’ve got better facilities than they did twenty years ago, but never enough resources for the need. They could use better facilities, but they won’t be moving to the suburbs any time soon. Like most ministries of their kind, they use a lot of volunteers. few people are paid. Except for those holiday groups and the occasional youth group doing a project, it’s usually a bare bones crew serving the meal and handing out the blankets.

 

They’ll never become “mega.” Success in today’s evangelical success race will completely allude them.

It’s that way with ministries all around you. The ones that shelter homeless people. The “rescue missions.” The battered women’s shelter. The facilities providing care for Alzheimer’s families. The outreaches to build houses for the poor and to try to repair substandard houses in Appalachia. The volunteer crisis pregnancy centers. The literacy programs. The “Help” programs that provide assistance with utilities.

They will never become some “big church” featured on the local news. You’ll probably never hear about them unless some celebrity stops in or it’s a VERY slow news day on local media.

These ministries and missions are almost always small while their sponsoring churches are big. The crowds are at the pageants, not at the weekly meal for the homeless. The churches are full. The ministries in the darkness, on the streets, in the mountains, on the reservations, in the poor neighborhoods…they’re small. So small you can miss them if you don’t know about them.

Most of them have no budget for publicity. They aren’t on Christian radio asking for money. No billboards. No golf tournaments. They aren’t getting Joel Osteen’s and Joyce Meyer’s 100 million dollars a year. To be honest, many don’t know if they will be open six months from now. Their staffs aren’t making six figures or driving a Lexus. Those who loyally serve at those ministries long ago got used to getting by on whatever second hand donations of money and goods show up. They depend on God to see what happens. They can’t make it happen otherwise.

They are no big thing. In fact, for many of these small, unglamorous ministries, there is a kind of invisibility, even locally. They aren’t competing for young families with the church across town by adding another kickin’ band. They aren’t working on how to appear hip, cool and relevant. They are trying to hammer a nail, keep a drunk off the street, save some children, hand out some blankets and food. They are trying to do justice and show mercy. They are always walking humbly with God compared to the rest of us.

Of course, one day, you’ll know all about them.

One day, they will be a big thing. On that day when Jesus comes to reveal his Kingdom, there won’t be any way to miss these ministries and the people who keep them going. He’ll make sure of that.

The one for whom there was no room in the inn, the one from forgotten Nazareth, the one with the unwed mother, the one whose infant skin was covered with straw and rags in a stable, the one who had no place to lay his head, the one who was the poor, the cold, the naked and the imprisoned. He will remember those ministries. I assure you.

You might consider dropping in on one of those ministries sometime. They do have one thing many big churches don’t have.

Or, to be more precise, they do have someone many big churches don’t have. And he’s not generated on a big screen or via special effects.

He’s the one I hope we’re all looking for. He’s not so hard to find, even if, in this world, he’s no big thing. Just think like Jesus, and you’ll find the way.

The Life We Seek

 “The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.” Luke 2:20

A couple of years ago, we had an opportunity to attend a 4-day missionary retreat and conference with 150 other missionaries serving in places all over the world.  Each of those days started with a devotion given by a pastor visiting from the U.S., all of which focused on how to serve in a culture that is different than our own.

During one of those devotions, he challenged us to make a deep search in to our definition – or our mind’s picture – of what we felt was a “good Christian life”.  For example, did we believe a “good Christian” should listen to “secular” music, or should dress modestly, or should drive extravagant cars, etc. etc.

Then he asked us to take it a step further, and to look at this question in the context of the culture in which we were serving.  He challenged us to ask the Lord to show us whether some of our “Christian life” rules were, in fact, based on the truth and authority of God and His Word, or if they were actually based on our home culture.  He then asked us to consider whether the rules we’d setup based on our culture were perhaps inhibiting our being able to better know and understand the culture into which we were called to serve.

One example that came to my mind immediately was cards.  I remembered when Charlie and I were in Brazil working and training with some Brazilian believers, that during a break a few of the American kids brought out some playing cards.  I remembered how surprised the Brazilians were that the American adults were allowing their children to play cards.  According to the Brazilian culture, Christians never play with cards.  They believe the risk is too great that a person will start to rely on some sort of chance or fate in a card game, which goes very much against faith in the one true God.

Of course, serving in Russia, one of the most obvious questions for me during this discussion was regarding my judgment of the Russian Orthodox church.  Many Protestant believers serving in Russia absolutely refuse to work at all with anyone associated with the Russian Orthodox church.  This separation exists for several reasons, actually.  But one of the primary issues that I have felt the Lord challenge in my life while living in Russia has to do with a very specific topic, and that is the Orthodox church’s use of icons and incense in their worship.

First, I want to make it clear that I am not advocating praying to or worshiping anything other than the one true God, our Creator.  In fact, in conversations with Russian Orthodox believers, it has been confirmed that there are many in that faith who have come to put their trust and belief not in God Almighty, but in the icons to which they pray.  This is, I believe, nothing short of idolatry.

This idea has brought me to a couple of other points, however, that I do want to make.  First – I don’t believe this was the original intention of these things in the Orthodox church.  When I asked her, a Russian Orthodox friend described it very well.  She said that one of the core beliefs of the Russian Orthodox church is that worshiping God should involve the entirety of our bodies, which He created to worship Him.  She explained that as our senses of smell and touch and sight were given to us by Him as well as our senses of hearing and taste, we should seek to use all of those things in our experience of Him.  Originally, the icons and incense were introduced into the Russian Orthodox church so as to assist the worshiper to more fully experience the presence of God in their lives with their whole bodies.

Over the generations, however, many have been brought up in the Russian Orthodox church and it’s customs without ever having entered into a true relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  For this reason, many in the church do seek life and joy and peace in their lives through these created objects, and are missing the real source of life in their lives, the Creator God.

Second – and what has actually brought me to think about this “cultural idolatry” in recent weeks – is not something I’ve witnessed in Russia at all, but what I realized I might be seeing among us from the U.S.

In the first week of November, I began seeing something that in all years past until now has never struck me as strange.  American advertising media and music stations and even conversations on Facebook began to focus very much on things pertaining to the celebration of Christmas.  And now that Thanksgiving is over, it’s everywhere.  Whenever I connect online with anything American, I am certain to see running through it some sort of Christmas theme.  Everywhere are Christmas lights, Christmas sales, Christmas music, Santa Claus, and on and on.

And I’ve been wondering a bit about these things this year.  Why is it that each year we in the U.S. seem to want to start the Christmas music and put up our Christmas trees earlier and leave them on later?  We all know the depression that sets in after Christmas is over and all of the lights are taken down.  Where does that come from?  We’ve just celebrated the coming of our Lord into this world to save us from our sins.  We should be entering the New Year with a renewed sense of hope and life.  So why are we so down in January?

Further, when people start talking about what excites them about Christmas, they usually mention lights, family, music, shopping.  Rarely do you hear a person say how much they love the time of gathering together to remember the birth of Jesus Christ.  In fact, Christmas morning – the very day set aside for celebration – is for many one of the saddest days of the year.  How can that be?

Then I think back to what I’ve learned from the Russian Orthodox church.  How I’ve seen people seek to find life and joy not in the God we’ve come to celebrate, but in the created things with which He’s blessed us.  I wonder if the Christmas tradition according to our culture in the U.S. has not become more about finding a sense of life or hope in our lives by doing lots of shopping and parties, and by hanging pretty lights around our houses, and by listening to music that made us so happy when we were children.

I wonder if we’ve not shifted our focus and our trust and our worship away from the God we are seeking to celebrate this season, and onto the things originally created to help us experience Him more fully.  I wonder how I would feel if all of those things were taken away – the lights, the food, the gifts under the tree, the music – and all I had was a quiet night with a baby lying in a smelly manger, born of a virgin, who’d come into the world to save me and my children and all of us from death.  Where would my hope lie?  Would it be enough?

Dear God, I pray that this season you will show us those gifts you’ve given that we have put in front of you.  I pray you will show us those things we rely on to bring us joy and peace that are not you.  And I pray that in your mercy you will forgive us and grant us grace in the inevitable fall we will experience as these things are taken away.  These things are not you – they will fail us.  I pray that you will fill us afresh in the empty places that remain with your ever-healing and almighty presence, in Christ Jesus.  Thank you, God, for sending your son in this world to die for us.  Thank you for this time that we can come together and celebrate his coming again.  In Christ Jesus’ name.  Amen.

 

Text from The Chastain’s November 2011 Newsletter

(Click this  11-11 Newsletter  for the .pdf version of the latest newsletter.   If you’re not on the newsletter list but would like to be, please send an email to charlie@actsofadvocacy.org.  We’ll be glad to include you on future messages!  Also, feel free to visit www.actsofadvocacy.org for more info on our lives in Eastern Europe)

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Greetings (finally!) from Tallinn, Estonia this gorgeous November! It’s been so good to keep up with several of you through Facebook and email – and to hear of great plans to gather together to give thanks this week to our God. We have much to be thankful for. We’d like to share some of those things with you this month.

Opening Doors

I have to admit that when we moved to Tallinn, Charlie and I were curious about the kinds of ministry opportunities that God would show us here, and whether we would be able to hear and follow the direction of His will. It has surprised us how quickly and clearly His direction has come to us in recent weeks.

Our first week living in Tallinn, we were invited by friends to visit the Vineyard Church of Tallinn. In the days since that first visit, we have felt so clearly God’s leading us to become more involved in this community of believers.

Orphanage Ministry - We have seen doors open very quickly for Estonian orphan ministry in collaboration with the Vineyard Church since moving to Tallinn. In October, I was invited by a member of the church to join a group from her organization called the Friends Club. This organization was set up to support orphans living in Estonia. As indicated by it’s name, this group seeks to develop relationships with orphans living here, and to nurture those relationships through various means – including regular visits, special events, and, for one facility, a summer camp hosted each August by the organization.

I am excited to learn more about some of the methods of the Friends Club, and to glean ideas from them that may possibly be introduced to some of the workers we know in Russia. Of course, there are many conditions and restrictions in Russia that would make some of these ideas very difficult to implement there – but I do feel a call to spend time working with, learning from, and supporting this local group in Estonia according to God’s leading.

Music Ministry - Charlie’s music ministry in the region has continued to grow since we first mentioned some opportunities in July. In addition to assisting the A/V ministry at Vineyard, Charlie has also been invited to use some of their office space as a studio for the work he is doing with christian musicians. The timing has proven to be excellent, as Charlie has been contacted by several groups – both out of Tallinn and St. Petersburg – to work on various projects in these weeks since living in Estonia. In fact, he is currently working to complete an album with a christian group of out St. Petersburg, “Sup-Cultura”, hopefully by mid-December, so that he can move forward in these other projects in future months.

Charlie has also been invited by a few Estonian producers to hold audio engineering seminars at a local school for christian musicians in the area. Charlie has seen that in both Russia and Estonia, there are several believing musicians who feel a true call to produce music that expresses their love and praise of Jesus Christ. However, almost none of them have any training in music production – which is absolutely vital in truly capturing the message the artist desires to express. Charlie’s being here at this time seems to have brought a sense of excitement among these musicians, who have expressed a great deal of frustration at being unable to really achieve the sound they want in their efforts to produce the music to which they feel called.

Prayer Ministry - A few weeks ago I was contacted by a Russian pastor and his wife serving just outside of St. Petersburg, who were seeking intensive healing prayer ministry for themselves. I agreed to meet with them, but told them I would not be able to come to Russia until after we’d received our visas – hopefully by the end of November. They then decided to apply for visas to Estonia, which only took a couple of weeks. Last week they took a 6 hour bus ride from their home to Tallinn, and I was very honored to spend 2 days in intensive prayer with them, and to see God do great works in their lives in that time.

When I mentioned this opportunity to the pastor at the Vineyard Church, he welcomed me to use one of their rooms for our prayer meetings, which we agreed to do. Early on the first day of our time praying together, the pastor’s wife quickly felt very strongly the presence of God with her, and she became quite emotional. I suggested that she lie down on some pillows and just rest and receive His anointing in that time. For several minutes she laid face down and wept as the spirit of God washed over her and began to bring up wounds and issues that He desired to cleanse in her life. After a time, she lifted her head, and looked up to see the large, wooden cross that was leaning on the wall in front of her – and she just smiled.

“In these past weeks planning our trip here, I had a vision of coming to a church and just falling down before the cross,” she said. “I had no idea that my vision was to be literally fulfilled!” It was such a beautiful beginning to the two days of being washed – soaked – in the presence of her Maker. She said she’d never experienced such a time with Him as that, and I praise God for His faithfulness in waiting for us there at that place, and for the healing He began in their lives as they traveled so far just to spend uninterrupted time with Him.

Assuming our Russian visas are prepared, I am planning a trip in the 2nd week of December to Kaliningrad, Russia to hold a prayer retreat for a women’s group there, and also a trip in the 3rd week of December to St. Petersburg for a follow-up prayer conference with a group of pastors there. It has been amazing to me to see God open doors for intensive prayer ministry with Russians since our moving to Estonia. At first, this did not make a lot of sense to me. However, after praying for some of the very dark and difficult wounds that were revealed this past week, I realized 2 things:

First:  I know that the very dark and painful things this pastor and his wife have experienced growing up and living in Russia are actually very common experiences among Russians. It seems that the history and spiritual climate of that place lends itself to such things. I am particularly open to seeing God using this as a great ministry for mothers in Russia. I believe that many mothers choose to give up their children to the orphanage system as a result of deep emotional and spiritual struggles in their own lives. I believe God wants to bring healing and wholeness to the lives of the mothers there, and to mold them into the mothers He designed them to be.

Second:  I now can see clearly that if we were still living full- time in the spiritual climate of Russia, I would not be able to work so intensively in this ministry. I can see that our living there and gaining a more intimate understanding of Russia was absolutely necessary for the work we’re called to do. But I am also amazed to see how following God’s desire for us to live in Estonia may actually expand the ministry to which we are called in Russia.

While in St. Petersburg, I also will be visiting with some of the individuals and groups we know who are working to serve orphans in that place. I have truly missed seeing these brothers and sisters these past weeks, and am very much looking forward to spending time with them.

Finally, Charlie will be traveling to St. Petersburg at the end of December to check in on a couple of music projects, visit an orphanage in Tikhvin where some roof work was completed this fall, and to host a team coming from Norcross UMC to work with an orphan intake hospital and with a vocational training center for orphan grads in St. Petersburg. We lift these travel plans up to you for prayer that God will be obeyed and glorified. We also ask for covering in these weeks as our baby girl is due to be born at the end of January. We ask for God’s protection and guidance in these weeks as we finish these travels and settle back in Tallinn in early January to prepare for her arrival!

Support Update - As a result of our move to Estonia, there have been a few who have felt called to stop their financial support at the beginning of 2012. While we know this has been a difficult decision, we also trust that God is faithful to open doors where others have been closed! In December we will be sending out a specific appeal for individuals and churches to consider whether God is calling you to begin supporting the expanding work we are doing here in Eastern Europe. In these weeks we ask that you begin to pray for us regarding this issue. Our God knows all things. We are seeking to keep our minds open to whatever roads He provides toward our being able to live and work here on a full-time basis! We can offer Him nothing of any true worth that did not originally come from Him, and in that truth we find our peace!!

Love and blessings to each of you this Thanksgiving! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your continued, steadfast love and support of us in whichever way God leads!

Warmest love, Miki, Charlie, Isabel, and Jasper

WE STILL NEED YOUR HELP!

Our monthly support is still under our current ministry needs. We invite you (or your Sunday school class, your Church, etc.) to consider partnering with us through The Mission Society by pledging $25, $50, $100 or more a month.

To make a donation by check:

- send a check to the following address, noting “Chastain/Russia 322” in the memo:

The Mission Society 6234 Crooked Creek Road Norcross, GA 30092

To make a donation by credit card or electronic debit: – go to our website: www.actsofadvocacy.org and click on “Give” to go to the TMS “donations” page.

To make a monthly pledge: Either contact us via email or phone (678-436-3016) so that we can send you the appropriate documentation, or go to our website: www.actsofadvocacy.org and clickon “Give” to go to the TMS “donations” page.

Face of Hopelessness

“Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying.” John 20:10

My kids were given a Russian toy a few years ago, which is made of wood and string.  There are actually 5 pieces of string, each attached to one of the necks of 5 wooden chickens.  When you spin the toy, the wooden peg at the bottom of the strings moves, causing the strings to pull on the chickens’ necks, making it look as though the chickens are pecking the ground for food.

The fascinating thing about this toy – besides it’s simple ingenuity – is the fact that after all of the times it has been thrown around and packed and moved and unpacked, it still works perfectly.  I was looking closely at it recently and noticed that actually, one of the 5 strings had been broken.  But when I spun the toy around, all 5 chickens started pecking just as always.  “How is it still working?” I thought.

Then I noticed that just below the chickens’ necks, and just above the break in the string, all 5 strings had been tied together.  So, while the one string no longer had a direct connection with the wooden peg to move it up and down, it was still tightly bound to the other strings.  When the other strings were moved by the peg, therefore, the broken string got it’s momentum from them.

I honestly can not tell you how many times since moving to Russia that I have wanted to give up and go home.  It’s been many.  It was early this year the first time Charlie told me that he was concerned I had taken on too much the sense of hopelessness that can often be felt in Russia.  It was late in June and through July that I think this became the most apparent in my life.

Many may know that this summer there were a number of opportunities for me to be involved in prayer ministry in St. Petersburg.  On one such occasion in June, I was able to spend a day with several pastors discussing biblical principles and practices in healing prayer ministry.

Early in the day, after we’d spent time catching up with tea and snacks, I asked if anyone wanted to share the reasons that they felt a desire to gain a deeper understanding of the ministry of healing prayer.  Some of the responses I received were unexpected – even overwhelming for me, as it turned out.

One lady stood up and told of her calling to volunteer as a prayer counselor in local hospitals.  She said that since she’d answered the call years earlier, she’d felt constant attacks by the enemy in her life.  She said she knew that she must continue to answer the call of God in her life, but she felt defenseless against the enemy.  “When I tell him to leave in the name of Jesus,” she said crying, “it seems sometimes like he just doesn’t leave.”

She then began to express frustration that more of the people for whom she prayed in the hospital weren’t healed.  “I see family after family hoping that something will come of the prayers I offer.  But so often it seems that nothing happens.  They receive no relief from their suffering at all.”

One man said, “We kept thinking in the nineties that there was coming some great revival and time of healing for this city.  But it just hasn’t come.  We’re just not seeing healing in our churches like we thought we would.”

And this was the general theme by most who stood up in the room – The enemy is constantly coming against us.  We are experiencing great trials by our decisions to follow the call of the Lord in our lives.  But the healing is just not coming.

And of course the big question – asked with some hesitation, but with great conviction – was “Why?”

We spent the most of the rest of the day discussing biblical principles in prayer ministry, and the reasons for some of the practices often used, such a anointing oil or laying our hands on those for whom we pray.  Then we had a time of praying with each other, shared communion with each other, and ended the day a bit spontaneously as a couple of pastors started singing an old, Russian hymn, and the rest of us joined in through several verses and a couple more hymns.  It really was an amazing day together.

But as I left that place that day, I knew that I was in over my head.  “God, I cannot help these people,” I thought to myself.  That day, and the few prayer meetings that happened later that month, left me feeling hopeless, and alone, and a bit angry with God.  It started several weeks of crying out to God that same question I’d been hearing from my brothers and sisters – “Why?  Why?  Why aren’t You healing Your people here?”

Well, in time, answers have come – often in very intimate ways in my life. But, that’s for another post.

It took some time for me to get through it, but eventually it did dawn on me one very obvious point that God was trying to teach me through those pastors and all of those meetings in those weeks that I’d initially completely missed.

Everyone of them had made great sacrifices to follow the call of the Lord in their lives.  Everyone of them was experiencing great trial and suffering – often as a result of their decision to follow the call of God.  Everyone of them was struggling to see any real, tangible results in their ministries.

But what is amazing to me now, is that these pastors are all still doing it.  They are still getting up every morning and getting out of bed and getting dressed to go out and fight these battles that they’ve been unable to win for years.  After years of receiving barely a whisper from the Lord, they are still going each week to their hospitals or to their church services and are crying out to God, “Come, Lord, come.”  Feeling almost like victims in their own homes as the enemy comes against them and their families again and again and again, they still get on their knees and pray to God, “Yet not my will, Lord, but Thine be done.”  This is a level of faith and obedience that I do not comprehend.

I think we see this also in Mary, on that day when they went to the tomb to find that Jesus’ body had been – so they thought – taken.  How hopeless that must have felt.  That individuals would go so far to cover up the life of Jesus as to actually steal His body from a tomb.  What did that mean for those who were known associates – eyewitnesses – to the work of Jesus Christ?  What steps would they take to silence them?  John says that upon this discovery, the disciples left the tomb, and went back to their homes.

But not Mary.  John says Mary stood there and wept.  She’d gone there to find Jesus.  No matter the pain of being there, the risk of punishment, the condemnation from her neighbors and others who knew her – she was not leaving.

Of course, we know the story.  Mary does find Jesus that day.  She recognizes Him when He speaks her name.

Starting a couple of months after those first meetings in June, I began hearing testimony, first and second-hand, of people who have experienced healing in their lives – spiritual, emotional, and physical.  Some people have said that the words I spoke in prayer with them were clearly from the Lord.  While it has not always been beautiful, the Lord has made it clear that He has not forgotten His people there, and some mighty works have been done.

We submitted requests for our new visas to Russia today.  These are not work visas, so we will not be able to live there on these visas.  But I do hope to have at least a few visits over, and to spend time with these pastors in worship and prayer before the baby comes in January.  Several of these pastors are either already involved in ministry with orphans or are considering starting an orphan-support ministry in their church.  This is a huge opportunity towards addressing the orphan crisis in St. Petersburg, and could easily spring to other regions as many of these pastors work closely with churches all over Russia.

There have been many successes, but there have also been many, many losses in our few years of seeking to answer God’s call into Russia.  Please don’t give up.  Please help us and our amazing brothers and sisters in Russia to not give up.  Let us not flee from God’s call in fear or doubt, but let us stand weeping at the tomb – even as we look into the face of all hopelessness.

Love and peace be abundant in your lives in Christ Jesus -

Miki

 

 

 

 

Whose Glory?

“In the Lord I take refuge.  How then can you say to me: ‘Flee like a bird to your mountain.  For look, the wicked bend their bows…When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?‘  The Lord is in his holy temple; the Lord is on his heavenly throne.”  Psalm 11: 1-4

Several months ago, a friend in Russia lent me her copy of a book written by a Chinese pastor who’d become a Christian in China during the 1970′s.  In one of his stories, the pastor describes the importance of the work done in China in the 70′s by missionaries who went there despite the extensive resistance that was coming against Christians from the Chinese government.

One day, years later, the pastor writes that he had an opportunity to visit the grave of one of those missionaries, who’d come to China from her home in England.  He explained to the church he was visiting in England about the importance of the work this missionary had done in China years earlier, and that he felt quite compelled to visit her grave in order to pay his respects.

When the day came for visiting the grave site, however, the English church leaders were unable to find the missionary’s grave at the cemetery where records had shown her buried.  After further research, they were able to find the woman’s grave site, in a simple numbered plot with no other marking or headstone whatsoever.

Now, my initial reaction to this story is one of grief – almost pity – for this woman who had given her life serving in dangerous, oppressive circumstances in order that the gospel might be available to people living on the other side of the world.  How could it be that such a woman could die and receive what appears to be no recognition from anyone in the world at all?

This summer I had the wonderful opportunity to meet another amazing lady who has given her life to serving and sharing the truth of God’s love with orphans in Russia.  This lady has spent most of her life working in the Russian orphanage system, for several years as an orphanage director.  In her last years as director – despite resistance from authorities – she followed the Lord’s leading in making her orphanage a “Christian” facility.  She implemented new programs aimed at assisting orphans who were leaving the orphanage system and transitioning into society – an approach that is to this day not supported by the federal orphanage system.

She had begun doing this work well before Charlie or I many of the others we know ever showed up in St. Petersburg – and long before the concept of transitional programs were proposed by missionaries from the west.

Now, some years after retiring from her work in the orphanage, this lady has founded a non-profit organization in St. Petersburg that has been working for several years with orphanages in the region in order to assist orphan graduates transitioning into society.  On the day I met this lady, I was also able to meet one of the orphan grads, a girl in her early 20′s, who’s life has been impacted by this ministry.

Two years ago, this girl was standing on the street, 6 months pregnant, with no where to go when she decided to call this ministry she’d heard of through the director of the orphanage where she’d grown up.  Within an hour, this lady, the director of this ministry, had an assistant go meet the young lady at a local McDonald’s, then bring her to meet the director at one of the transitional residences the ministry uses.  Today that girl and her 20 month old son are living in one of those residences, and will be moving out on their own this spring in to their own room – which they acquired also with assistance from this ministry.

Today, almost 10 years after “retiring” as orphanage director, this lady is still working as director of this ministry, is very involved in her church in St. Petersburg, and currently has 2 teenage foster girls living with her in her tiny one-room flat (what we in the US would call a “studio” apartment).

I was so encouraged to be able to spend time with her, and I pray that in years to come I will continue to be able to know her and to learn from her – particularly to learn about the incredibly committed and self-sacrificing nature she displays in her service and efforts to follow the call of God in her life.

More recently, however, has come up a rather difficult realization regarding my coming to know this lady this past summer.  I’ve found myself wondering: what if I’d met her 10, or 5, or even 3 years ago, before I’d actually moved to Russia and begun to have a true understanding of the culture and people there?  What if I’d met this amazing lady while I’d been there on one of our several short-term trips over the years?  Would I have felt for her the same respect and admiration that I do today?  Would I have been able to see the great sacrifice that she’s obviously given in order to fulfill the calling on her life?  Would I have desired to know her more and to learn from her and the experiences she has had in her life of seeking to follow the Lord?

Or, would I have seen my meeting with her as simply another tick off of my to-do list – something I could use to justify my time there?  Would I have sized her up only in regard to how she could fulfill my agenda there?  Would I have seen her as anything other than another Russian face, another meeting over tea and sweets, another lost Russian soul who obviously didn’t have a clue about how things were supposed to be done in this thing we in the west call “kingdom work”?

One of the struggles with our move out of St. Petersburg these past months has been the realization that parts of our original agenda there have not been met.  There were things that we’d planned to do, things we’d wanted to write home about, that had not been accomplished as we crossed that border into Estonia last week.  Now I know what you’re thinking – Charlie and I are still working in Russia.  We are still close and still have time to see those goals through.

But it is times like these when you must stop and ask yourself – as honestly as possible – were my goals the same as God’s goals?  Even further, if my goals were not in line with God’s will, then WHY am I still holding onto them so desperately?

I think there are several answers to these questions.  But one significant possibility that has been resounding lately has been the reality that I am unable to let go of a very strong desire to share in God’s glory.  When I die, I do not want to be forgotten.  I want people around me to honor me and the work that has been done through my life.  When I go to the states, I want people to think I am valuable, and important in the Kingdom.  The bottom line is that I still very much seek the honor of man in my life and my work.  And for that I am sorry.

So in this note I ask you for your prayers.  I ask for your prayers for the countless individuals who are like that amazing lady I met this summer, living all across Russia, mostly in villages with names you and I will never know.  All of those men and women who are quietly giving everything in their lives to serving orphans, street kids, and all in their communities in the name of Jesus.  All of whom will likely die with little or no recognition what so ever for their sacrifice. Let the Lord hear our prayers for these diligent warriors, as they are our brothers and sisters giving from poverty and fighting battles you and I can not even imagine.

Love and blessings in Christ Jesus -

Miki

IMPORTANT NEWS: Text from The Chastains September 2011 Newsletter

(CLICK HERE 9-11 Newsletter for the .pdf version of the latest newsletter.   If you’re not on the newsletter list but would like to be, please send an email to charlie@actsofadvocacy.org.  We’ll be glad to include you on future messages!  Also, feel free to visit www.actsofadvocacy.org for more info on our lives in Russia)

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…” Ecclesiastes 3:1

It recently occurred to me that in the past few days I have been avoiding sitting down to write this month’s newsletter. We have very exciting news to share about changes that are happening in our lives. However, as is often the case when change comes, along with our excitement we have been experiencing some times of anxiety, fear, and grief, and so this month we’d like to share with you about these things.

First, and most important to us, early this summer we learned that we are expecting our 3rd child next January! We are barely able to describe the sense of joy we feel with this news. In Russian culture, a 3rd child is considered a great sign of blessing from God upon a family, as so few families ever expect that they will be able to have 3 children. We have felt that great blessing in our home as we have begun to make preparations for our new addition.

With this news, however, has come other unexpected changes upon our family. First is the realization that Miki will not be able to maintain her work schedule for some time upon the baby’s arrival. Her not working will mean that she will not be able to maintain her work visa here in Russia. For this reason, after several weeks of prayer and contemplation about other available options, we have come to accept that we will no longer be able to live full-time in Russia after this year.

As we have been watching this door to living in St. Petersburg close, however – without even realizing it – it seems God has already been working on the next open door for us here in ministry.

You may recall that in April of this year, due to Russian visa requirements, we spent almost 4 weeks in Estonia, a post- Soviet country located just west of Russia, about a 2 hour drive from St. Petersburg. We were surprised during that month at how quickly we developed relationships with others in ministry there – many of whom we’d only just met. In fact, we felt such familiarity and comfort with the people we came to know there that we made plans before returning to Russia to go back to Estonia in the summer for a visit.

It was during our summer visit there in July (after we’d learned about the pregnancy and were considering our options), that the Lord began to reveal not only new relationships, but also open doors to ministry for us in Estonia. In that week, and in weeks since then, we have had the privilege of meeting brothers and sisters in ministry in Estonia with various groups, including the Methodist Church, Campus Crusade for Christ, and the Salvation Army. We have spent time with friends who are ministering in prisons in Estonia, others who are developing relationships with orphanages there – both of these ministries geared almost entirely toward Russians living in Estonia. Further, Charlie has had the opportunity to sit with Estonian christian musicians who are struggling to develop their art, which we learned is due mostly to the general opinion of Christianity in Estonia.

One of the many facts we came to know in meeting these people who’ve given their lives to serving in Christ Jesus in Estonia is that less than 5% of the population of Estonia considers themselves christian or has any affiliation with a church at all. We heard several different explanations for this fact, but it seems that the history of Estonia – more recently and specifically their time spent under the authority of the Soviet Union – has made it difficult for the people of Estonia to trust organizations that may seem to them to be coming into Estonia, seeking to impose rules or regulations. This suspicion and mistrust often extends to the church.

Finally, as we’ve spent these months seeking the Lord regarding whether, when, and to where we should be moving out of St. Petersburg, one additional factor has become apparent. In recent weeks and months, several close to us in ministry have begun to receive a lot of questions from local and national government authorities about their activities, relationships, and finances. Some are Russians whose ministries the authorities are threatening to close. Others are foreigners whose residency in Russia the authorities are threatening to end. Given some of the difficulties we’ve experienced with our own visas in recent years, we have to consider that this type of scrutiny may only continue to increase.

To be clear, we do not feel a personal threat to our own security here. However, the last thing we want is for our presence to impede on the efforts of others working here in ministry – particularly Russians who were born and raised in this area. For that reason, we have made a few changes regarding our internet/telephone communications, and have determined that this may be a factor in the timing of our being called out of Russia on a full-time basis.

So, as a result of these things – and several months of talking and praying – we have made the decision to move to Tallinn, Estonia at the end of September.

This has not been an easy decision. After committing so much of ourselves to St. Petersburg, Russia for more than 10 years, the decision to pull back at this time has left us feeling sad, and even a bit scared at times. We are having a hard time imagining what our lives are going to look like in upcoming months, and we understand that there are going to be difficulties along the way. But even in this, I offer praise to God that He has continued to bring us peace and joy in every day, as His blessing in our lives continues to overflow in ways we’d never imagined for ourselves coming into this ministry 10 years ago.

Now, all of this is certainly not to say that we will not be continuing ministry in St. Petersburg after our move. In fact, one of the major factors that initially drew us to Estonia is that it is less than half a day’s drive from St. Petersburg.

We find it very interesting now that for several months before the pregnancy came about, we had been feeling strongly that the Lord was calling us to step back a bit from our intensive, regular involvement with some of the ministries we know here in St. Petersburg. We had known that the time was coming for us to give up some of our leadership and responsibility in the ministries here to Russians we’ve come to know and with whom we’ve been working so closely these past 3 years.

But, at the same time, we have known – and our Russian brothers and sisters have confirmed – that we are not being called to simply shut the door to these relationships all together. We feel strongly that we are to continue to be involved here to a certain degree – more perhaps in the way of week-long trips to St. Petersburg, for example. We have been blessed with very rich relationships here, and all parties agree that our presence several times throughout the year for different activities is still needed and is in the will of God for our work here.

By living in Estonia, this type of transition – maintaining regular, though less-frequent contact and support by our presence here, but also backing off enough to give the Russians more room to go forward in these ministries in accordance with their own history, culture, spiritual needs, etc. – is very possible. We have been amazed in recent days upon realizing that God is using what we have only ever seen as challenges and set-backs to lead us into the very position that He desires for us and others serving here at this time.

In fact, we are already planning trips in upcoming months in order to continue our current work with Russian ministries in St. Petersburg, as well as a trip planned for October to the Russian seaport of Kaliningrad on the Baltic Sea. Our residence in Estonia will actually make work in that area of Russia easier for us as Estonia is situated more closely to Kaliningrad than is St. Petersburg.

One of several unknowns coming along with this move for us is how many of you who have been supporting us over the years with your love, your time, your finances, and your prayers will react to this change in our circumstances. In this time of transition for ourselves, we expect that it may be a time of transition for some of you in the ministry here as well. We expect that there may be some who will decide to step away a bit from the work we’re doing here, but we also expect that there will be some of you who will decide that now is the time to get involved, perhaps in the way of regular prayer support, monthly financial support, or even a trip over to see the work we’re doing (no visa is required to visit Estonia, by the way!).

Also, we realize that many of you have also invested a great deal in the work that is being done here in St. Petersburg, and that you understandably will have several questions regarding specifics in our future involvement here. In upcoming weeks, we will continue to provide more details about specific changes that will come in our work with ministries here in St. Petersburg, in Estonia, and elsewhere in this area. We also ask that you will not hesitate to contact us with any questions you have in the mean time. We love to hear from you and want the opportunity to talk with you about any questions or concerns you may have.

We know that you pray for us, and we thank God for you. We pray that where ever all of our efforts to follow our God may lead us, we will all continue to be filled with His love for one another, and we will always be as one in Him, in the name of Jesus Christ.

Love to you, Charlie, Miki, Isabel, Jasper

WE STILL NEED YOUR HELP!

Our monthly support is still 10% under our current ministry needs. We invite you (or your Sunday school class, your Church, etc.) to consider partnering with us through The Mission Society by pledging $25, $50, $100 or more a month.

To make a donation by check:

- send a check to the following address, noting “Chastain/Russia 322” in the memo:

The Mission Society 6234 Crooked Creek Road Norcross, GA 30092

To make a donation by credit card or electronic debit: – go to our website: www.actsofadvocacy.org and click on “Give” to go to the Mission Society “donations” page.

To make a monthly pledge: Either contact us via email or phone (678-436-3016) so that we can send you the appropriate documentation, or go to our website: www.actsofadvocacy.org and click on “Give” to go to the Mission Society “donations” page.

Healing in Repentance

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.  You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ Therefore you will flee!  You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’ Therefore your pursuers will be swift!” … Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30:15-18

I had not even been praying for healing.  I’d been praying for forgiveness.  The healing just came.

Recently, I agreed to a bit of a “challenge” I felt the Lord had offered up to me.  Honestly, when I first asked the Lord to lead me to deeper levels of repentance in my life, I didn’t really expect much to happen.  It’s a bit funny, I guess.  But even more so, now, I think it’s detestable.

I always knew, of course, that I had sin in my life.  I know, for example, that I struggle with things like pride and judgment on others – both in and out of the church.  I know that I struggle with gossip.  I know that I struggle with bitterness and resentment towards people who’ve hurt me or my loved ones over the years.  I know that I can act very disrespectful toward my husband.

But it seems that I’d justified myself in these areas by telling myself that “everyone struggles with these sins.”  I’ve been foolishly thinking that these sins in my life aren’t as “bad” as other sins – like stealing, or violence on others, or engaging in pornography, or using drugs, or other really “bad” sins.

You know, people who are engaged in THOSE kinds of sins should really be on their knees repenting to the Lord and begging His forgiveness.  But the kinds of sins that I engage in… – well, sure, it doesn’t hurt to occasionally ask God to help me with my pride, or with the tone I use with Charlie – but I don’t need to fall down broken and weeping in the church because of these sins, openly confessing and repenting to God for all of the pain and damage I’ve caused His children – right?

Matthew 6:24: “No one can serve to masters.  Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.”

Romans 6:16: “Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey – whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?”

Psalm 5:22: “The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.”

Despite my arrogant doubting, however, as I have invited Him to go deeper in these weeks, the Lord has begun to do much.  He has gently allowed me to begin to FEEL some of the pain that I have caused His children – and Him – through my sin.  He’s allowed me to see that my sin has left others I love dearly less able to know God’s love for themselves.  He has shown me that often, the work He has done through me to further His kingdom, and to bring His children to freedom, has been partially offset by the sin I’ve allowed to control particular areas of my life.

And my heart has been broken.

Oh, God, how can You stand to hear my thoughts sometimes?  What a fool I am to dare to disregard my sin – the sin that separates me and others I’ve hurt from You.  All the while attempting to answer Your call to minister to the “others” who I’ve decided are “lost”.  Oh, God. How can I even turn my face up to You in prayer?  I’ve taken these blessings You’ve given, and I’ve used them to give myself a sense of authority over others who I’ve decided are less holy than I God have mercy.  God forgive me.

And on and on has been the breaking of my spirit in recent weeks, in Jesus’ name.

Romans 2:3-4 says, “So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?  Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?” (italics added by MC).

2 Corinthians 7:10 says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”

Notice how carefully these verses are to indicate that the “kindness” and “sorrow” that leads us to repentance both come from God, not man.

Some other verses I’ve read recently on repentance:

“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” Luke 15:7

“He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” Peter 3:9

This is clearly a very important act in the eyes of our Lord, and in our walk with Him.  Why have we become so afraid to talk about – to practice – repentance?

However, it’s also important to mention that allowing the Lord to reveal to me a deeper level of the sin in my life did not bring about the feeling of freedom as I’d anticipated.  There definitely has been a new sense of freedom in my life, but I don’t compare it to the vision of the mighty lion running free in the wilderness.

It’s more like the freedom that comes to a watermelon after having been dropped from a 2^nd story window.  The watermelon is a drippy, broken mess on the dirty ground.  In it’s own eyes, it is no longer of any use to anyone.  It’s insides are exposed and dirty for all of the world to see, and even if the right wind came along, it would have no way of even rolling itself to a safe haven.

But really, I’m beginning to wonder if it is not this level of broken, messy exposure that the Lord truly desires through our repentance.  First, in this state, we become much more acutely aware of the reality of our helplessness and reliance on our God for our life – for our survival – physically and spiritually.

Second, this new level of exposure, while quite painful, also seems to release old blocked pathways to some of the suffering we’ve experienced.  In fact, it seems that often it are these old wounds that have caused the sin in our life in the first place.

Through the days and weeks, as the Lord continued to reveal these deeper levels of sin in my life, I realized that something else very surprising also began happening.

It started kind of subtly. One evening, for example, after the kids were in bed, I found myself crying into my pillow about something painful that had been done to me years earlier – something I’d not thought about in years.

Then, I was in the shower a few days later getting ready for work, when I just began weeping about another old, old wound that I’d been carrying around for years.

Then it started happening almost every night.  I would lie in bed and just grieve over pain and insult I’d received years ago.  The stuff just started coming up – out of nowhere.

Finally, Charlie asked me one evening, “OK, what is going on with you?”  For a while, I honestly couldn’t tell him.

And then one day it occurred to me – has my acknowledgment of some of this old, dark sin in my life allowed the Lord room to finally do some healing in these areas that I’d written off as hopeless years ago?  Could that be what He means when He says that in repentance is our salvation?  I honestly had never imagined to take it so literally!

In Psalm 32:3-7, David said:

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.  For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.  Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.  I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”- and you forgave the guilt of my sin.  Therefore let every man who is godly pray to you while you may be found, surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.  You are my hiding place, you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.  (Italics and bold -MC)

Psalm 119:133 says, “Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.”

There are so many reasons today to fall away from the Lord.  The temptation to “flee on our horses” in fear is so great with all that so many of us stand to lose in this world.

We have got to begin to acknowledge our sin before the Lord.  We can no longer walk around justifying the damage we are doing as “not that bad”.  His word says it – the sin in our lives rules over us.  We are slaves to it.  And if we continue to ignore it – and the pain in our lives that it medicates – it will overcome us as all we have in this world is stripped away.

Lord, create in us, Your Church, a more repentant spirit, so that we will be truly broken.  In our brokenness let Your healing come, for we know that when we are weak in You, oh Lord, then we are strong.  Praise to You alone, Mighty God.  Amen.